THE OXFORD GROUP

Various sources influenced the formulation of AA’s program, as developed and recorded by Wilson.  Of these, the British-born Oxford Group movement and its American leader, Episcopal clergyman Samuel Moor Shoemaker, Jr., contributed most significantly to the Christian basis of Alcoholics Anonymous.  Both Wilson and Smith attended the Oxford Group meetings and based much of the AA program on this framework.

In the 1920s and 1930s, the Oxford Group movement became a revolutionary answer to antireligious reaction following World War I.  Aiming to rekindle living faith in a church gone stale with institutionalism, the Oxford Group declared itself an “organism” rather than an “organization.”  Group members met in homes and hotels, mingling religion with meals.  Despite its freedom from institutional ties, the movement was distinctly ecclesiastical and looked to the church as its authority.

Dr. Frank N. D. Buchman, a Lutheran pastor, is most often cited as leader of the Oxford movement.   Yet, if one were to ask an Oxford Group follower, “Who is your leader?” the reply might be, “The Holy Spirit.”  So confidently did the group believe in the guidance of the Spirit that it had no organized board of officers, but relied instead on “God control” through men and women who had fully “surrendered” to God’s will.  Buchman emphasized the need to surrender to God for forgiveness and guidance and to confess one’s sins to God and others.  Oxford Group followers learned also to make restitution for wrongs done and to witness about their changed lives in order to help change others.

The Oxford Group’s teachings rested on the following six basic assumptions:

1. Human beings are sinners.
2. Human beings can be changed.
3. Confession is a prerequisite to change.
4. The changed soul has direct access to God
5. The age of miracles has returned.
6. Those who have been changed are to change others.

In addition, Wilson incorporated into AA’s philosophy the Oxford Group’s five procedures, which were:

1. Giving to God.
2. Listening to God’s direction
3. Checking guidance.
4. Restitution
5. Sharing, both confession and witness

EVOLUTION OF THE TWELVE STEPS

While trying to attract more followers to sobriety from 1935-1937, Smith and Wilson attended Oxford Group meetings in New York led by Samuel Moor Shoemaker, Jr.  “It was from Sam Shoemaker that we absorbed most of the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, steps that express the heart of A.A.’s way of life,” Wilson later recalled.  “The early A.A. got its ideas of self-examination, acknowledgement of character defects, restitution for harm done, and working with others straight from the Oxford Group and directly from Sam Shoemaker, their former leader in America, and from nowhere else.”

THE TWELVE STEPS OF ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

1.  We admitted we were powerless over alcohol–that our lives had become unmanageable.

2.  Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3.  Make a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

4.  Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5.  Admitting to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6.  Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7.  Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8.  Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.

9.  Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10.  Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11.  Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

12.  Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

THE TWELVE STEPS AND SPIRITUAL DISCIPLINES

The goal of steps one through three is peace with God.

Step One is about recognizing our brokenness.

We admitted we were powerless over the effects of our separation from God–that our lives had become unmanageable

I know nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.  For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.  Rom. 7:17

The discipline of step one is submission.

Again, the goal of steps one through three is peace with God.

Step Two is about the birth of faith in us.

We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose (Phil. 2:13)

The discipline of step two is conversion.  (I thought that I was converted to the faith long ago, but steps two and three make me realize that there are parts of me that have yet to really believe and be converted.)

Again, the goal of steps one to three is peace with God.  (We have taken up arms against God every time we took up our addictions.  They were our way of resisting the God that some of us even went to church on Sundays and claimed to love.)

Step Three involves a decision to let God be in charge of our lives.  (That’s an incredible turnaround for some of us who have known God well and quite simply been at war with Him.)

We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.  (Sometimes it’s harder when you think you understand God very well.)

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God–which is your spiritual worship (Rom. 12:1)

The discipline of steps two and three is conversion.  (But, I have to remember that if I don’t get everything COMPLETELY turned over in my first stab at step three, I can always go back and do it again.  People go back and do the twelve steps again and again.  I don’t have to get it perfect the first time.)

The goal of steps four through seven is peace with ourselves.  (Boy, I could really use some of that.)

Step Four involves self-examination.

We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord (Lam. 3:40)

The Discipline of steps four and five is confession.

Again, the goal of steps four to seven is peace with ourselves.

Step Five is the discipline of confession.

We admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed (James 5:16a)

The discipline of steps four and five is confession, (something that the church could use to do a little more of, in my opinionated opinion)

Again, the goal of steps four through seven is peace with ourselves.

Step Six is an inner transformation sometimes called repentance.

We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. (James 4:10)  (Wow)

The discipline of steps six and seven is repentance. (cool, God has been telling me to repent for years.  I really need this.  If I could just get past step three.)

For the last time, the goal of steps four through seven is peace with ourselves.

Step Seven involves the transformation or purification of our character.

We humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings (Boy, I’ll try.  There’s not much humility in my character.  Maybe I’ll be able to come up with more by then.)

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9)

The Discipline of steps six and seven is repentance.

The goal of steps eight through ten is peace with others.

Step Eight involves examining our relationships and preparing ourselves to make amends.

We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.

Do to others as you would have them do to you (Luke 6:31)

The Discipline of steps eight and nine is the discipline of amends.

Again, the goal of steps eight through ten is peace with others.

Step nine is he discipline of making amends.

We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar.  First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift (Matt. 5:23-24)  (If you turn these steps around and try to do them out of order, it just doesn’t work as well.  I used to try to heed this verse without the humbling of conversion, confession, and repentance.  And somehow it was ridiculous.  It just didn’t work.  I was doing it in a prideful way.  Saying in effect, look how good I am that I will come and apologize to you first.  I was doing it to be a perfectionist.  Again, it was ridiculous.)

The discipline of steps eight and nine is the discipline of Amends.

For the last time, the goal of steps eight through ten is peace with others.

Step Ten is about maintaining progress in recovery.

We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall (1 Cor. 10:12)  (A favorite verse, my whole family and I thought we were standing firm.  So far, I think I’m the only one to really accept the fact that we are falling and reach out to Jesus)

The discipline of step ten is the important discipline of maintenance.

The goal of steps eleven and twelve is keeping the peace.

Step eleven involves the spiritual disciplines of prayer and meditation.

We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly (Col. 3:16a)

The discipline of step eleven is the discipline of prayer.

Again, the goal of steps eleven and twelve is the goal of keeping the peace.

Step twelve is about ministry.  Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently.  But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted (Gal. 6:1)

The Discipline of Step Twelve is Ministry.

The first time I was exposed to the TWelve Steps, I was forced into a state hospital to recover from chemical addiction.  I didn’t want to be there; I didn’t want to get sober.  But I had to stay in treatment to avoid legal problems.

As part of the treatment agenda I had to attend a peculiar session in the hospital auditorium.  Twice weekly; people from the community came in, walked onstage, and talked about themselves.  They said how awful life used to be when they were drinking, what had happened, and how good life was now.  They had gone from trouble and pain to living happily ever after.

I sat in the back row, as far away from these people as possible.  One day, a man said something that hit me right in the solar plexus.  He was no longer talking about himself.  He was talking about me–my pain, my struggles, the fears I had hidden, even from myself.  Something changed despite my agenda.  I got sober.

Seven years and several relationships with alcoholics later, I knew I needed something more than sobriety.  I wasn’t on my way to living happily ever after; I was on my way to codependency recovery.

I found myself again facing these Twelve STeps, this time from a different point of view.  This time I was being affected by another person’s alcoholism.  Before long, I learned the truth.  It wasn’t about the other person; it was about me and my codepency issues–which I now believe were present from age four.

I wasn’t happy to be facing these Steps again.  I didn’t like being in so much pain that I needed another recovery.  I thought one big problem was all one person should have to face in one lifetime.

But I’m grateful now.  The first time I was exposed to these Steps, they gave me sobriety.  The second time I was exposed to them, they gave me a self and a life.  They gave me recovery from codependency.

This is a book about the Twelve STeps and how these principles can be applied to codendency recovery, regardless of which Twelve STep group you now regularly attend.

Many of us have looked for magic.  We’ve payed, waited, prayed, searched, longed, and hoped for the key that would unlock the mystery of recovery in our life.  We’ve looked for the person, place or thing that would make us feel better, that would stop our pain and change us.

How many times  have we attended a seminar, bought a book, or gone to a therapist, hoping to be transformed?  Those activities help.  They’re valid tools on this journey.

But there’s more.

I regularly receive letters from people asking when I’m going to lead a seminar or asking if the person could consult with me.  “If I could just talk to you, then I’d get better.  You hold the key, the magic to my recovery.”

EA’s roots, however, go back to October 1965 when Marion F. read a newspaper article about an organization which had adapted the twelve-step program of AA for use in overcoming emotional problems.  Marion had experienced many years of fear and panic, and this sounded like an answer for her.  However, there were no groups in her area.

In February 1966 a friend asked Marion to attend an Al-Anon meeting.  There she discovered people using the same Twelve Steps which she had read about in the newspaper.  She continued to attend Al-Anon meetings and began to work that program.

With the encouragement of her doctor, who could see the progress she was making because of that program, Marion decided to start a group of Neurotics Anonymous (NA), the twelve-step fellowship mentioned in the newspaper artical she had read.  The first meeting was held on April 13, 1966, at the Merriam Park Community Center in St. Paul.  Several Al-Anon members came to the first few meetings to give support.  About twelve people came to that first meetings and the next week, due to a newspaper article, 65 people attended.

By the fall of that year, a member of that first group decided to start a group in Minneapolis.  Ohter groups spread throughout the Twin Cities area, to other locations in Minnesota, to neighboring states, and to one foreign country.  Soon there were over 30 groups and a Minnesota Intergroup Association was formed.  The first Neurotics Anonymous meeting in Germany was started by Walther L. and held on August 5, 1967.

In time differences developed between these groups and the main office of Neurotics Anonymous.  After a number of attempts to settle their disagreements, the Minnesota Intergroup Association voted on July 6, 1971 to disassociate itself from Neurotics Anonymous.  Four days later, these intergroup members formed a Trusted Servants Temporary Committee for the purpose of forming their own twelve-step fellowship.  They elected officers, chose the name Emotions Anonymous, and wrote Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. for permission to adapt and use their Twelve Steps and Tweelve Traditions.  Permission was granted and Articles of Incorporation for Emotions Anonymous were filed with the Minnesota Secretary of State on July 22, 1971.  This new twelve-step fellowship was now officially on its way.

In August, Walther came to Minnesota and attended a meeting of the Trusted Servants Temporary Committee.  Upon his return to Germany, the members of this group also disassociated from NA and joined EA on August 9, 1971.

The first trusted servants of EA learned a great deal about how AA operated by studying the Alcoholics Anonymous manuals.  They wished to be successful so they closely followed A.A.’s way of doing things.  They followed Tradition Two whereby decisions were not made by one person, but had to be done through group conscience votes.  Whether in a group meeting, a committee meeting, or any other EA meeting, decisions were always to be made by a majority vote of the entire group.

That year the Trust Servants Temporary Committee wrote bylaws and started writing literature.  The first year of EA was one of new ideas, hard work, struggles, personality clashes, and growing pains.

After the bylaws were written, the membership met to ratify them and to put them into practice.  This was done at the time of the first annual convention held in St. Paul on October 14, 1972.  The Trusted Servants Temporary Committee was dissolved, its work having been completed.  An International Service Board of Trustees was elected consisting of eleven in-town trustees, four area trustees, and seven regional trustees.  The International Service Board of Trustees continues today to be the decision-making body for the business and organization side of Emotions Anonymous.

As with most organizations, changes were inevitable.  In 1975 three non-member trustees were added to the board:  a pastor, a lawyer, and a member of another twelve-step group.  They were chosen for their support of our program, for their various talents and backgrounds, and for the additional perspectives they would add to the decision-making process.  In September 1994 the membership ratified a revised set of bylaws and reduced the size of the board to three area trustees; nine regional trustees; and three non-member trustees, an accountant, a lawyer, and a businessman.  In addition, each continent may elect an international representative to serve on the board.

The primary purpose of the EA organization was originally and still is to carry the EA message of hope to people who suffer from emotional problems.  It necessitated having a location where people could telephone or write for information.  For those first years the office was in Marion’s home, with first Marion and then other volunteers helping to answer the telephone, mail information, and keep records.  For many years volunteers continued to do most of the office work for EA.

In January 1974 the office was moved and a part-time staff member was hired. EA’s new location became a rented room at the Midway YMCA in St. Paul.  The EA office, now known as the International Service Center, moved to three subsequent locations as more space was needed.  The paid staff has increased as well.  Today EA has a full-time Executive Director, three other full-time and one part-time employees.

Since this is a fellowship run by members, for members, it has always been necessary for those making decisions for EA to maintain communication witht he membership.  In April 1972 a decision was made by the Board of Trustees to have an International Services Bulletin published four times a year and mailed out to groups.  This publication continues to be sent to all registered EA groups as a communication between the board, the International Service Center, and registered groups.  Since EA is an organization with no membership lists, the success of this communication rests with each EA group providing the Service Center with the address of its current contact person who then shares the Services Bulletin with the group.

In 1976 the first annual report was printed as a way to keep the membership better informed of the activities and accomplishments of the board during the previous year.  This continues to be published and made available to members.

As EA groups continued to grow and spread throughout the world, a world directory was established in 1973.  This publication lists meeting locations and information about groups worldwide.  It is used by those looking for a group in their area as well as by members who might be moving or t raveling to another area.  It is important for people to be able to find EA meetings.  The success and accuracy of this directory is dependent upon groups sending updated meeting information to the International Service Center.

The writing of literature was

Everyone is welcome in EA.  All that is needed to join us is a desire to become emotionally healthy.  We have discovered no one is unique in the problems or illnesses they are experiencing.  The inability to cope with life can affect people of all ages and from all types of backgrounds.  Emotional illness does not discriminate because of age, sex, religion, race, income, or occupation.  We may have come to EA simply because life was uncomfortable and we were looking for a better way.  Or, we may have been in the depths of despair, been in therapy or even hospitalized.  We may have found ourselves dependent on medication, other drugs, or alcohol.

The symptoms which led us to seek help are diverse.  These can include depression, anxiety, relationship or work problems inability to cope with reality, or psychosomatic ailments.  It is often the opinion of health care professsionals that many physical illnesses are aggravated or caused by emotions.  It is important to remember, however, that not all symptoms are caused by emotions.  It is best to see a doctor to ensure your symptoms are not caused by a physical illness.

We use the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous, which we have adapted for people with emotional problems.  We follow the Twelve Steps because they tell what people befure us have done to become emotionally well.  The steps are written in past tense as statements of actions already taken, attitudes already learned, and feelings already expressed–all of which have brought recover to others.  Thousands of people have gained emotional health by applying these steps in their lives.

The Twelve Steps are goals toward which we work and the measuring stick by which we estimate our progress.  At first we found we did not completely understand the steps or how to apply them to our lives.  Much of the thinking contained in them was totally foreign to many of us.  The important thing is that we try each day to understand the steps better and to practice them in our daily lives, one day at a time.  There is no right or wrong way to work this program, members practice this twelve-step program in their own individual ways.

Emotions Anonymous is supported by contributions from our members as well as from the sale of EA books and literature.  No financial support is accepted from outside sources.  Money is needed to maintain our program; however, no dues or fees are required in order to come to our meetings.  Donations are collected at each meeting to cover expenses such as rent and literature.  After group expenses are paid, the remainder is contributed to EA’s International Service Center and the local intergroup to support the other services of our fellowship which carry our message of hope to others worldwide.

Because we are an anonymous organization, we identify ourselves by first names only.  It does not matter to whom we are related, where we live, or where we work.  Anonymity gives us the freedom to share our thoughts and feelings at meetings because what is said there is not to be repeated to anyone.

Practicing anonymity also means using only first names when representing EA in the press, on radio and television, or in any other public forum.  This assures that no one member can or does speak for the entire Emotions Anonymous program.  Through anonymity, the focus remains on the EA program rather than on the person sharing our message.

Emotions Anonymous is non-professional.  Our meetings are not run by doctors, therapists, social workers, or any other professionals.  People in these professions may attend EA meetings, but they are there for personal recovery like everyone else and not to conduct the meetings in a professional capacity.  Members take turns leading the meetings because we are all equal with no one being more important than another.

At our meetings we discuss the program and how it helps us daily in our recovery.  We do not discuss religion, politics, national or international issues, or other belief systems or policies.  EA has no opinion on these outside issues nor on any therapy, medication, or mental health issue.  It is up to individual members whether professional counseling is appropriate for them.  We offer only our EA program.

Emotions Anonymous is a spiritual program; it is not a religious program.  It may seem that the terms spiritual and religious are synonymous, but they are not.  Religious means following specific teachings or the doctrines of established religious groups.  Spiritual indicates a belief in something which is greater than oneself which can be a source of power for change in our lives.  The steps suggest a belief in a power greater than ourselves, and we can define this however we want.  For example, this can be the group, nature, the universe, a Higher Power, the God of our own understanding, or any entity a member may choose.  The program does not tell us what we must believe; it is up to each of us to determine that for ourselves.  People of many different religions as well as those of no religion are members of EA.

In EA literature, we use gender-neutral language.  However, in the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions  God is referred to in masculine terms because Alcoholics Anonymous, who granted us permission to adapt their steps and traditions to our program, views these as historic writings that should remain unchanged.  EA members are free to use whatever term and gender is most helpful in developing a relationship to a power greater than themselves.

At meetings we learn that symptoms and backgrounds do not matter.  We do not judge what anyone has done inthe past, nor do we diagnose or give advice on personal or family matters.  We take responsibility only for our own emotional recovery.  We do not try to cure or change others but, instead, extend love and acceptance.  Being accepted by others can be the beginning of learning to acccept ourselves.  As we listen to other members, we discover things about ourselves.  We are amazed to hear people describe the very feelings we thought were unique in ourselves.  Eventually we lose our amazement and realize how much like others we are.  We no longer feel alone, and we begin to act upon the knowledge we have gained.  We attempt to make changes in our lives which will bring us emotional well-being.

The program does not work overnight.  It has usually taken years for us to reach the point where we are willing to seeek help, and it is unrealistic to expect immediate results.  At first we experience hope by observing others who were like us and who found help through Emotions Anonymous.  Then, as we begin to practice the Twelve Steps, we find our lives begin to change.  As we grow in the program, we experience a peace no known before.

If you are not as happy as you would like to be, or if you have tried other methods of help and still feel something is missing, we invite you to read this book.  In it we share our experiences; how we once were, what we did, and how we are today after practicing the twelve-step program of Emotions Anonymous.

We invite you to attend our weekly meetings.  We hop you will find them warm and friendly.  We believe weekly meetings are very important for achieving and maintaining emotional health.  You may find a phone number for Emotions Anonymous in your local phone book, in the support group listings in newspapers, or from community referral agencies.  You may write Emotions Anonymous, International Service Center, P.O. Box 4245, St. Paul, MN 551040245, for assistance in locating the nearest EA group.  The International Service Center can also be reached by phone at (651) 647-9712, fax at (651) 647-1593, or by email at GeneralInfo@EmotionsAnonymous.org.  Our web site located at www.EmotionsAnonymous.org always has current meeting information.  If there is no group in your area, our staff will be happy to send you information on starting one.

We hope you will join us!

We invite you to discover, as we have, that our EA fellowship of weekly meetings is warm and friendly and that it is also important for achieving and maintaining emotional health.  We use the Twelve Steps and the Twelve Traditions as guides for our meetings and for living one day at a time.

Emotions Anonymous is a non-profit organization, supported by the voluntary contributions of its members.

We thank Alcoholics Anonymous for their permission to use this program, and we thank the God of our understanding for guidance.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

Prayer for Serenity

• God, grant me the serenity
  
• to accept the things I cannot change
• the courage to change the things I can,
• and the wisdom to know the difference.
• Living one day at a time,
  
• enjoying one moment at a time;
• accepting hardship as a pathway to peace;
• taking, as Jesus did,
• this sinful world as it is,
• not as I would have it;
• trusting that You will make all things right
• if I surrender to Your will;
• so that I may be reasonably happy in this life
• and supremely happy with You forever in the next.
• Amen.

Reinhold Niebuhr

“I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.  For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.” Romans 7:18

2.  We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

“For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.”  (Philippians 2:13)

3.  We made a decision to turn our lives and our wills over to the care of God.

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God–this is your spiritual act of worship “  (Romans 12:1)

4.  We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

“Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord” (Lamentations 3:40)

5.  We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” (James 5:16)

6.  We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

“Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.”  (James 4:10)

7.  We humbly asked Him to remove all our shortcomings.

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”  (1 John 1:9)

8.  We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.

“Do to others as you would have them do to you.” (Luke 6:31)

9.  We made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar.  First go and be reconciled to your brother, then come and offer your gift.”  (Matthew 5:23-24)

10.  We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

“So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall!”  (1 Corinthians 10:12)

11.  We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and power to carry that out.

“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly.”  (Colossians 3:16)

12.  Have had a spiritual experience as the result of these steps, we try to carry this message to others and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

“Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently.  But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.”  (Galatians 6:1)

By Pastor Rick Warren

1. Realize I’m not God.  I admit that I am powerless to control my tendency to do the wrong thing and that my life is unmanageable.  “Happy are those who know they are spiritually poor.”  (Matthew 5:3)
2. Earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to Him, and that He has the power to help me recover. “Happy are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”  (Matthew 5:4)
3. Consciously choose to commit all my life and will to Christ’s care and control.  “Happy are the meek.” (Matthew 5:5)
4. Openly examine and confess my faults to myself, to God, and to someone I trust. “Happy are the pure in heart.”  (Matthew 5:8)
5. Voluntarily submit to every change God wants to make in my life and humbly ask Him to remove my character defects.  “Happy are those whose greatest desire is to do what God requires.”  (Matthew 5:6)
6. Evaluate all my relationships.  Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make amends for harm I’ve done to others, except when to do so would harm them or others.  “Happy are the merciful.” (Matthew 5:7)  “Happy are the peacemakers.” (Matthew 5:9)
7. Reserve a daily time with God for self-examination, Bible reading, and prayer in order to know God and His will for my life and to gain the power to follow His will.
8. Yield myself to God to be used to bring this Good News to others both by my example and by my words. “Happy are those who are persecuted because they do what God requires.”  (Matthew 5:10)

STEP ONE

“WE ADMITTED WE WERE POWERLESS OVER OTHERS–THAT OUR LIVES HAD BECOME UNMANAGEABLE.”  –Step One of CoDA

“Happy are those who know they are spiritually poor.” (Matthew 5:3)

Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors, that our lives had become unmanageable.

“I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.  For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.”  (Romans 7:18)

Think About It

Before we can take the first step of our recovery, we must first face and admit our denial.

God tells us, “You can’t heal a wound by saying it’s not there!” (Jer. 6:14, TLB).  The acrostic for DENIAL spells out what can happen if we do not face our denial.

DISABLES OUR FEELINGS

By repressing our feelings we freeze our emotions.  Understanding and feeling our feelings is freedom.

(this is from Stepping Out of Denial into God’s Grace, by John Baker)